A query

The learning was something way beyond the levels known to any human for it was bestowed by the Divine, somewhere after the diksha I had this query running in my mind.

The form Divine had blessed me with was something which I had desired, asked for from my childhood.  The divine blessing and fulfilling the desire of a devotee a seeker is something I had heard and now I was a witness to it. What more could I ask, what more but yes like the hungry human mind, it was there.

I was the most blessed child in the world, yet where was the world. I was not able to sense the Nilkantha Parvat the beginning place of it all nor could sense anything else, the shūnyātā only remained.   Something within me was becoming empty,  something beyond emptiness was there, everything around including Holy divine became formless, I could sense everything yet the void was something beyond comprehension. I was hearing the words, I tried calling out to Baba but voice never appeared, sight vanished nothing was there. None of the senses could I ever sense but it was there, I felt as if the existence of the body was too irrelevant. It never existed it was withering away, the fear was there, a fear of extremity but then I heard a soft sound of laughter. I am alive I knew, I could sense the voice but my voice was completely out, then I heard the voice and subtle chants rising as Mekaál. I thought I would be seeing Lord Shiva but here I was hearing Mekaál, then the voice again in a different language ‘You know one small form of the truth, the truth is beyond you. You sought a formless, the truth. So be it”.

It is then I saw a hand covering me and saying  ‘Isā’ and covering my eyes and covered my whole body. The experience of cosmic hurricane I could sense, but more forceful, maybe the cosmic divine hands had protected me from the cosmic radiance. The whole radiance and light pierced through my body, it was like heated needles piercing through.  With the Holy Divine protection too I could sense the heat and pain, it was severe for sometime and then I could hear my name again. The heat around reduced, light intensity too reduced and I was able to open my eyes. What was I seeing, it was not something I had ever expected, nothing human, nothing in form, but energy and matter, cosmic creation happening in its own form. Infinite expanse of consciousness flowing throughout the energy and matter could be seen as a form, I was seeing the formless form of the Divine expanding through the wide expanse of the universe wherein infinite universe were emerged Dimensions of nothingness and merging back into nothingness, everything my limited understanding knew could never ever explain the truth I was seeing in front of me.

 I could sense Isä,

 I could see Isä,

 I could feel touch of Isä,

 but it was not possible to explain how but Isä was watching me and I was watching Isä and I also saw myself in it. I was there and I know, it.

After few minutes the whole thing vanished from my senses and then I found that Holy Divine too merged back into the nothingness.

Baba bestowed me the gift of seeing the divine and the only word I could use  was Aghor Baba Pinakadrika ji. Ācharyagüru Swami Shri Chidananda Bharati ji  used to call the Divine Lord as ‘Mahababa ji’.

~ Maitreya Rudrabhayananda

 Aghor Baba Pinakadrika ji                              Isā Kāyňāķ Vĩd